literature

Squirrel Girl Goes Nuts in DEATH BATTLE!

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AdamGregory04

Published: Dec 8, 2017

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Literature Text

SQUIRREL GIRL:

BACKGROUND:

Debut: Marvel Super-Heroes #8 (1991)
Real Name: Doreen Green
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 135 lbs (61 kg)

THEME:

FEATS:

According to official statements from Marvel, is one of their most powerful heroes.
Has been affiliated of the Great Lakes Avengers.
Formed the Squirrel Avengers Initiative alongside Chipmunk Hunk and Koi Boi.
Has a staggering number of victories to her name, including...
-M.O.D.O.K.
-Spider-Man
-Hawkeye
-Whiplash
-Kraven the Hunter
-Wolverine
-Deadpool
-Juggernaut
-Magneto
-Doctor Doom
-Ego the Living Planet
-Thanos (Until they retconned it by saying it was a clone)
-Fin Fang Foom
-Terrax the Tamer
-Galactus
Defeated the Avengers, twice.
-Second time was on-panel and under 22 seconds.
Befriended Galactus and convinced him to not eat Earth.
Currently has no losses to her name.
Fought Allene, her evil doppelganger, to a standstill.
Temporarily lifted Mjolnir and used it to beat Allene.
Once made an entire army of herself via time travelling.
Apparently dated Wolverine.

PHYSICALITY:

STRENGTH:

Is strong enough to bend steel.
Busted down a building with her bare hands.
Damaged a giant mech with her claws.
Punched through a bank wall, while coated in an armor of squirrels.
Was able to break the Rhino's grip on her, after dragging him with her into the air.
As an elderly woman, was able to rip off the head off a Doombot and tackle Doctor Doom through a wall.
Casually held open the mouth of the Tricephalous.
Could tear Tony Stark's best armor like it's cardboard.
Lifted an entire log cabin like it was nothing.
Dug to Mole Man's underground lair in no time.

DURABILITY:

Survived a blast from Doctor Doom, which cracked the wall behind her.
Was hurt, but didn't flinch from being punched by the Rhino.
Tanked attacks from the Incredible Hulk.
Was more annoyed by an onslaught from the cosplay Doombot, which involved being electrocuted and pelted with sand.
Endured attacks from Doctor Doom, that smashed her into and through walls.
Only damage after being thrown into a billboard was a black eye.

SPEED:

Possesses squirrel-like agility, allowing her to get around more easily.
Dodged M.O.D.O.K.'s lasers.
Changed into her costume in twenty seconds.
Easily dodged Whiplash's whips.
Dodged an amped up repulsor ray from Iron Man.
Able to cross New York City in a short time.
Incapacitated Deadpool without him being able to properly react.

MENTALITY:

PERSONALITY:

Is generally a friendly, outgoing individual.
Has an affinity for squirrel or nut-related puns.
Always tries her best to do what's right.
Doesn't much care for being broody, like a lot of heroes.

INTELLIGENCE:

Possesses keen science vision.
Capable of calculating quadratic equations in her head and on the spot.
Was able to lure the Avengers into a trap by convincing them she was her evil doppelganger.
Executed a plan to beat up the Marvel universe, starting small with Hawkeye and working her way up.
Figured out how to teleport to the Negative Zone using Mjolnir via computer science.

ARSENAL:

SQUIRRELS:

Able to communicate with squirrels and persuade them to aid her in battle.
Has two squirrels she has a greater connection with, being Monkey Joe and Tippy-Toe.
Can swarm her enemies with squirrels to defeat them.
Can even form a suit of squirrels around herself.

WINGS:

Wings attached to her suit, beneath her arms.
Make her capable of flight and gliding.

SQUIRREL ARMOR:

An Iron Man-esque armor designed for her by Tony Stark.
Possesses the standard Iron Man abilities, such as flight and repulsor blasts.
Used this to fly to the moon to take on Galactus.
Accommodates for the tail.

DEADPOOL'S GUIDE TO SUPER VILLAINS CARDS:

Deadpool has published 4000 of these cards, and Squirrel Girl possesses a lot of them.
Possesses information on Marvel villains, be they well-known or obscure.
Can use these to strategize against a foe, though likely useless against anyone not a Marvel villain.

SKILLS & ABILITIES:

HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT:

Was able to match and beat Wolverine.

CLAWS:

Possesses clawed fingertips.
Hard enough to carve holes in bricks.
Also used for climbing, like a squirrel, by allowing her to cling to surfaces.

KNUCKLE SPIKE:

Same deal as Wolverine's bone claws.
Uses these to enhance her attacks.

VEHICLES:

SQUIRREL-A-GIG:

A helicopter fashioned after a squirrel.
Was given to her as a Secret Santa gift from Big Bertha.
Used purely for transportation.

WEAKNESSES:

Somewhat reliant on her squirrel army.
Despite her accomplishments, isn't taken very seriously by other heroes and villains.
Isn't immune to telepathy or mind control.
Hibernates in the winter.
Doesn't actually control squirrels, she just kindly asks for their assistance.
-As such, they don't have to help her if they don't want to.

"Give a squirrel a nut, feed 'im for a day... But teach 'im to plant an oak tree, and he'll never go nut-less."

Take a shot every time you read the word "squirrel" if you want to die from alcohol poisoning.
If I missed anything, please let me know.

Potential Opponents:
-Ambush Bug (DC Comics)
-Blake Belladonna (RWBY)
-Makoto Nanaya (BlazBlue)
-Markiplier (YouTube)
-Medaka Kurokami (Medaka Box)
-Rat King (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
-Saitama (One Punch Man)
-Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob Squarepants)

Squirrel Girl - Marvel Comics

Comments10

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RookiedaCookie55

Aug 12, 2019

i think Markiplier would be the best opponent for her